The Struggle Within


Smothered by false positives
They can’t see my heart
Is torn

Darkness seeps in
Silencing my voice
Tears blur my vision
Future is dim

Gripped by shadows
Of failure
Twisted thoughts
Afraid to speak

When will the light return?
When will this nightmare end?

©Josslyn Rae Turner
Photo from

A self-portrait Quadrille for this week’s dVerse. It’s very difficult to paint a picture of myself in 44 words, but this is just one piece of my life. While it does not define me, depression can hit me like a freight train.





32 thoughts on “The Struggle Within

  1. Oh my … my heart breaks! Confession: Just last week I spent 48 in the hospital due to acute depression and out-of-control anxiety. Soooo, this piece really hit me in the heart, and I’m so very sorry you struggle with “freight-train” episodes of depression… Those freight trains can hit pretty damn hard! Great piece, Josslyn, and all the best to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We wonder but the light always does return. I love this powerful portrait. I get run over frequently by the freight train, bitten by the black dog….but I always strive for the light. I hope I always do. I wish the same for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The descriptive words — smothered, torn, seeps, silencing, blur, dim, gripped, twisted, afraid. These words bring me into this moment of depression which is for so many, such a dark hole. But your title includes the word “struggle” and you end with two questions rather than declarative sentences. This tells me you have the positive and the hope within you to see the opening and the way out of the darkness. As does your fierceness and the symbol of the hummingbird within your second poem. Keep writing. The pen can be the light.
    I’m so glad you stopped by dVerse. I hope you come often! You’ll always find smiles and friendly support here…..the bartenders specialize in it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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